Sunday, October 6, 2013

Soul Sisters : Movies, Girlfriends and Sex in the City


There are so many movies that depict the depth of female friendships. Where to start, well, how about a topic that women love to discuss…sex!! Who doesn’t love watching Sex in the City?! When I was “courting” a fairly new female friendship, we decided to hang out at my home one night, allow the kids to play in the other room (husbands were out of town) and watch Sex in the City together. It was perfect! Because with any new relationship, even female friendships, there can be moments of awkward silence, so this made a perfect “first date” and we had laughs together, and chatted while we watched.


Sex in the City
 

When you may be missing an old crazy friend, a night with Thelma and Louise and their courageous, naughty antics will bring back memories of youth with young daring and crazy girlfriends.  Those are stories for another time…

Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes are those family/friend movies to watch that will make you laugh, cry and bond with your own mother, sister, daughter or BFF.  They are the never go out of style movies,  that are filled with so much that is literally... way, out of style, yet the meaning and depth of the relationships are endless and beautiful.









Stepmom… is one of those movies that if you are ever in the mood to just ball your eyes out for no reason, and you would rather have a reason, it’s a ‘must see’.  One of my all-time fave chick flicks.  I believe, as a step-mom and a biological mom, one of the most real stories, of jealousy, envy, courage and empathy that you will ever see.




The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants movies are lighthearted movies about friendship that young adults can really connect to. An honest depiction of friendship, the ups and downs, the excitement and disappointments that come along with real life.


Beaches
Beaches and Now and Then are both movies about lifetime friends. The joys and sorrows of friendships for life. How so many people will come and go in your life, but your girlfriends, true lifetime girlfriends, will stand the test of time… and also withstand kids, marriages, divorces and crazy families.








What about the younger generation that hasn’t yet experienced life’s major dilemmas? We know that girl drama starts way before adulthood, and when your in high school, it seems like nothing could ever be worse!   Mean Girls depicts the nastiness of high school drama with a slice of humor and revenge. It's a must see for teen girls and their mom's. We have to know what to expect, in case we have so quickly forgotten.  Legally Blond is a lighthearted yet ageless comedy for girls entering the college years. Our heroine learns quickly what happens when her boyfriend goes away to college, and doesn't expect her to follow.  She makes some unexpected, yet valuable friends and realizes what's important in life and what's not. It has a sweet, quirky, moral to the story....and don't ever forget,
 Bend and snap!



As I said earlier, going to movies, or renting movies at home are not always the most bonding experiences you will have with your BFF’s, nor the most memorable… and for friendships that are old and comfortable, it’ll give you something to pay attention to every now and then, like background noise while you are nonstop talking about nothing and everything… but for newer friendships, that may be in the earlier stages, it relieves the pressure of always having to say something. Sometimes learning to be friends is just getting used to each others company, and learning to just spend time together. 

So, I hope you find one of these movies about friendship meets your needs. Whether it’s a night in alone to reminisce and have a good cry... or time spent bonding with an old friend or reaching out to a new one, enjoy the movies, and your friends. Be blessed.

Angelika "Geli" Ulku

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Soul Sisters; Not by blood, marriage or choice, instead by destiny, God's will and grace




 
Well, this is a new venture, yet one I couldn’t be more excited about!!
Tweedledee & Tweedledum
It all started about 25 years ago, while in junior high I met Jess, my lifetime best friend.
 Now, here’s where I am supposed to tell you the amazing encounter of how we met and how I knew we’d be friends forever… that I can’t do, unless I made up a cheesy story, which I am not very good at. What I am fairly good at is the truth, so here goes.
Jess and I hung out with some of the same friends, specifically some of the same boys. While doing who knows what after school one day, Jess said ‘you should come over to my house” I said, “alright”.  That was the start…


I was in 9th grade, and Jess, who’s 15 months younger than me, was in 8th grade. She hung out with an older boy who lived down the street from her, and one day introduced me to him. He asked me out and we began dating. He also hung out with the guy she was dating which meant we began to spend a lot of time together. A few months later, we got into our first real and only big fight. She was mad at me for well, messing around with her boyfriend (only time ever) and she claimed she was going to beat me up. We didn’t talk for about a month, but then when we did, I am sure I apologized, and we made up and regained our friendship. In case you are wondering… no, she didn’t follow through on beating me up. By the way Jess, I do still feel awful about that whole escapade with Eric, ugh…I am still sorry! (So, we didn’t physically fight that time, but I can tell you that many times after that, when we did, never in anger of course, I ALWAYS had the upper hand!!, more stories to come)
With our other Soul Sisters.

One of the things that sticks out about our friendship when I look back is that we have had A LOT of commonalities in life.  I don’t know if we got to be such close friends because we had so much in common, or if we led such parallel lives because we were best friends. Here are some that I can think of…

We both struggled a bit with school as teenagers, not because we weren’t smart, but because we didn’t really care about it. We cared about rebelling, music and boys, pretty much that’s it. Then, while in high school, we both became mothers for the first time.  Neither were “planned”, yet both were fully loved and well cared for. We both attended an alternative High School at that time and both began to really succeed in school academically and as leaders with our peers. We began to flourish and see exciting futures for ourselves, thanks to a lot of encouragement from some amazing teachers who pushed us. I graduated first and was awarded an academic scholarship from our high school. I started college at the local community college while Jess was finishing up her senior year. She was allowed to do PSEO at the College that I was also attending. Our children were in a home daycare together close to where we lived. When Jess graduated, I was the alumni asked to speak at her graduation, it was a day special to both of us that I am so glad we got to share.

As our kids grew older, we continued to spend time together. We are Godparents to the others children. Our kids to this day, even grown, call us Auntie and refer to each other as cousins. I don’t know why we decided to do that, it just seemed right. We both are the oldest with one little sister. Jess’ sister is 6 years younger than her and my sister is 12 years younger than me. We just kind of thought of each other more as sisters than friends.

My wedding day with my BFF.
Years passed, we both graduated college with the other there for support and encouragement. We both got married, and had more kids. She was my maid of honor and a few years later, I was hers. We were physically present at the births of the others children, coaching, supporting and video-taping. (Watch our blog for funny stories about that!)

We have always been on emergency contact lists and authorized to pick up the others kids at school. Thinking back it feels like this is how it was supposed to be and how it’s always been. I don’t feel like I “chose” her to be my best friend, or vice versa. Our parents and siblings have accepted the fact that we will always be at the others important events, parties, etc. and they accept us, and we love them. (Though they didn’t always…again, stories for another day)

When my son was in 10th grade, he decided he wanted to change schools prior to our move and so he stayed with Jess a few days a week for close to 6 months. He even had his own room… and I am sure I still owe her for that, he was not an easy kid!! I have picked her kids up from school, visited them at hospitals, and rocked and sang to them when she needed a break from a colicky one. That’s what sisters do, right.

We now as somewhat more mature friends, have helped each other through so much; a divorce, the loss of our grandparents, and most recently, her dad. That was a rough one. We have prayed and cried with each other while dealing with the effects of addiction and mental health issues of close family members.

Jessica is a successful woman in her own right, an amazing single mother of four, the director of a non-profit business that impacts her own community and she also volunteers as a co-leader of a recovery group at our church, where she specializes in co-dependency. I am blessed to call her my BFF, my soul sister.

I have been self employed for the past 15 years as a personal financial rep, helping families reach their goals of debt freedom and financial independence. I also train, develop and coach a number of agents who work directly with me. I have been happily married for 15 years and am a proud mother of three beautiful kids. My passions are writing, public speaking and inspiring others to fulfill their dreams.  

We have chosen to embark on this venture we call Soul Sisters for many reasons.

We believe strongly in female friendships. Our friendship has blessed our lives and our family’s lives insurmountably.

Our oldest daughters.
 We have been told numerous times by many different women that they envy our friendship and wish they had kept contact with their girlfriends. We have been told by many women that they have trust issues with other women, they have been burned and are afraid of being hurt again. Women who have gotten so caught up in being great wives and moms that when their kids grow up, they feel they have a void in their life. Many women don’t know how to make new friends as adults and think their time has passed to be able to have a best friend. We have been told by our daughters, who at 23 and 21 are best friends that they have learned about friendship from us. (They will be telling their story, please watch for it, they’re amazing!)

Our mission is to create a movement to inspire women to reach out and make new friends while also placing priority on older, lifelong friendships. We will, through many sources of social media, (and eventually a book) inspire you by sharing varied stories of female friendships. We will provide you with ideas to meet new friends, things to do while “courting” new friends, ways to mend broken friendships, and how to rebuild friendships with someone you haven’t talked to in a while but still want in your life.

We will make you laugh with our “rules of BFF’s” and “You might be best-friends when…”, and we may (unintentionally, of course) make you cry with the touching stories that are being submitted to our sites and from interviews we are doing as we speak. If you would like to be a part of the movement, if you have a story to share, a picture to post or a question to ask, please message us on or Facebook site at www.facebook.com/2SoulSisters

Thank you and be blessedJ

Angelika “Geli” Ulku

25 years of friendship.