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| Note: NONE of the posted pics are of us or anyone we know, they were found online |
I have been excited to write this since I decided to start blogging, and just wasn't sure how to go about it. Worried that some would read it and decide, "yep, I knew she was crazy" or others may worry that since they would never do something as crazy as skinny dipping that I am implying they won't ever have a real best friend... neither are true. I have found that "skinny-dipping", more recently coined as "chunky-dunking" is a great metaphor for vulnerability in friendships.
Obviously, being naked is the most physically vulnerable situation we can be in...because, well... we are EXPOSED. For many people that is terrifying. I have had many a nightmare, even in the recent weeks that I was back in high school, standing at my locker, usually half naked, freaking out, yet wondering why more people are not noticing.
The meaning of this, according to a Dream Dictionary is: "To dream that you are naked denotes fear of being found out and exposed over your activities. You feel that you are being misjudged. or...
To dream that you suddenly discover your nudity and are trying to cover up signifies your vulnerability to a situation."
Hmmm, sounds about right, doesn't it?
As I think of my closest friendships, the ones that I can fully be myself with are those friends that have seen me at my most vulnerable or vice versa. Jess and I have been present in the room during the births of each others children. That is very vulnerable... How about being with a friend who's grieving the death of a loved one, or the loss of a marriage, they are very vulnerable. I would have to say, looking back, by sharing those moments together and getting through those situations that seem unbearable, on the other side is a stronger friendship.
Some people are so terrified of being exposed that they never allow others to see them during their dark moments. They feel that they won't be loved or accepted for who they really are, so they always hold something back in relationships. They always remain superficial. Because of that, not only can they not accept true friendship, they are also unable to be a true friend.
My answer... you got it!! Skinny-Dipping!
I grew up going to a cabin deep in the woods, on a small, very private lake. As a kid it was very common while at the cabin, on a hot summer day, to grab the shampoo and a bar of Ivory soap and swim out to the floating raft and take a bath. Now, to clarify, I was with my parents, and we all wore swim suits while bathing. You just wash under... you get the idea.
Then, as an older and slightly more free-spirited teenager, I would take friends to the cabin for the weekend and many hot summer days would be out on the raft sun tanning with the girls. One of these days, while washing up and jumping off the raft and swimming around, Jess and I got the crazy idea to toss our swimsuits on the raft while swimming around. Who would know, right! Holy cow was that freeing!! It's an experience like none other. I know you are thinking, yeah, I have taken a bath before, how different can it be? Well... were you able to swim around in the bath, in water twelve feet deep, naked as the fish with only them and the birds to judge you? You are exposed, to yourself and to the elements. You feel one with nature... peaceful, yet exhilarating. It was so much fun!!
Needless to say, that wasn't the last time we went skinny-dipping. It was always just us girls and many times we would talk about feeling sad for those who have never had the opportunity to experience it. Especially at dusk, when the lake is smooth as glass and the water feels warmer than the air...on a summers eve. (no pun intended)
Well, one day while at the cabin, we announced we were going to the lake for a bath, our oldest daughters asked if they could come too. We agreed, and they came out with us. After jumping in the water they asked if they could wear "just" their life jackets... they've been skinny dipping ever since. They are both now in their 20's and have said how it's helped them be comfortable with their own bodies. My oldest daughter has said that she believes it has really helped her to have a more positive body image. My youngest daughter now comes with us (always no boys allowed) and she has shared with me how she loves the experience.
We are not critical of each others bodies, we are not there to judge, unlike the girls locker room in high school. We are just enjoying the feeling of the sun on our bodies and the water as we swim. It's vulnerable yes, but when you trust those your with, it's freeing... it's peaceful. You are not trying to be anything or anyone other than who you are with the people who will love you anyway.
For those of you who don't have the benefit of a private lake in the woods, don't think I am encouraging you to strip down at the neighborhood pool, but maybe walk around naked when no one is home for a start. Get comfortable in your own skin, appreciate and love your body, no matter the shape or size. It may help you in more ways than you can imagine. As for your friendships, these ladies hang around you for a reason, they like you... they connect with you, share with them who you really are. Sometimes that means they may catch you when you're a bit gassy... or when you have yelled at your kids to harshly. So be it, we are all human, and not one of us women is perfect. When you notice that your friends may have faults, give them grace, who knows... as surprising as it may be, you may find that they will give you grace too, when you open up, share your self and be vulnerable, even if you don't choose to get naked. :)
Thanks and be blessed, Geli
