When A Friend Becomes a Soul Sister ~ "The Story of Erin Michelle and Amber Rose"

*Thank you to my little sis, Erin Michelle, for this reader submitted Soul Sister Story*

When does a friend become a soul sister...?

 

From my experience, there is not a certain life changing event that determines this for you such as a wedding or having a child would, nor is there an “aha” moment.  You won’t be sitting at the bar or at your friend’s baby shower and suddenly realize that this friend is truly connected to you in life and no matter what happens to you, she will be there.  A friend becomes a Soul Sister unexpectedly and over time.

Unlike a fairy tale, Amber and I didn’t just have one conversation and immediately know it was "friendship at first sight". Amber and I didn’t even click right away, it took years of hanging out, loving each other, hating each other, crying together, and laughing together to build the friendship we have today.

I met Amber in band class when I was in sixth grade.  Amber played the trumpet and I played the flute.  We started a conversation by telling each other how much we both hated our band teacher in general, but specifically that day because we had to watch The Wizard of Oz in the dark and he wouldn’t let us sleep instead.  After our initial conversation, it took a few years before we became best friends and little did everyone know, they were in for big trouble!

 
 

Once we hit high school, Amber and I were inseparable.  We did everything together.  We were together so often that our own friends and families would call us by the others name (they still do today).  Looking back, Amber and I weren’t just best friends at that point in our lives, we were family.  Like many families, we had our own ways of doing things such as pressing our favorite numbers on the telephone when making promises (2 for me and 5 for Amber), going by our first and middle names, and wearing the same style clothes but in different colors.

As many teenage girls are, Amber and I were boy crazy and got into a little trouble.  I still laugh when I think about Amber telling her dad that I gave her the big hickey on her neck or when she told her mom that I gave her the condom that her parents found in her pocket.  That one actually got me into trouble because her mom called my mom and then my mom asked me why I was giving out condoms.  I gave my mom the excuse that they were handing them out at the YMCA teen night.  It wasn’t totally a lie since the YMCA did hand out condoms, but I usually didn't take them and if I did, I would blow them up like a balloon rather than give them to one of my friends.  Another time when Amber and I had boys over at her mom’s house while her mom was gone.  One of the guys was walking up the stairs with his backpack on and accidentally knocked over Amber’s mom’s shelf and broke some of her glass chickens which also resulted in breaking the pot of one of her plants.  When Amber’s mom got home, we blamed everything on their dog, Pepper.  Amber’s mom then made us re-pot the plant.  When we went into the garage to get the new pot, we accidentally broke all of the pots in the garage.  I think we laughed for over an hour about this.  We finally went inside and explained that we couldn’t find any usable pots.  Shortly afterward, I dropped the spoon while making spaghetti and Amber’s mom yelled at us “I’m done with both of you, I will be back in a few minutes” and went outside.  Looking back, I really miss those worry free and crazy days even though she made me look like I was always the one with all of the bad ideas.

As adults, Amber and my friendship has been a roller coaster.  We both have experienced so many up's and down's and have been there for each other through everything.  There were times when we were both single and more than ready to mingle, and times when we hated the other’s current boyfriend.  There were times when we were annoyed at each other and times when we had nothing but love for each other.  Amber even sent a “Don’t tell Erin I sent this to you” message on Facebook to the guy I wouldn’t shut up about. Thanks to her and my direction of course, he is my current boyfriend of two and a half years.

There was about a year though when Amber and I rarely spoke.  I was not at a good point in my life and decided that others meant more to me than any friends I had.  I had recently lost my house, along with everything else I had and was living with my parents.  I found a way to get out on my own again, but it wasn’t the right choice to make.  Instead of listening to my conscience, I did what I thought was the best decision at the time.  I lost a few friendships by making the decisions I did and that decision lead me into an even deeper black hole in life.  I remember sitting in my living room crying my eyes out because I didn’t know what my next step was going to be. I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to other than family, and I wanted the honest and complete truth.  I was terrified to pick up the phone and call Amber, but I did.  I left her a message that she probably couldn’t understand as I was hysterical.  She called me right back and she was brutally honest with me, but in the nicest way possible told me her opinion and what the next steps I should take were.  I knew she was right and did what I needed to do to put myself back into the best situation I could.  I am very thankful that I called her that day, because I truly believe talking to her pushed me to do what I should have done all along and that was listen to my gut.

 

 

I could literally sit at my computer all day and write a book about our friendship.  We have been through almost everything together, hard relationships, breakups, family problems, etc.  We don’t talk as much as we used to, or hang out as much for that matter, since she is a new mom and I am still adjusting to family life myself.  We also have other friendships that are just as important to us as ours is, but somehow we seem to still have a part in each other’s lives.  I still call her when I am feeling down or text her when I have good news to share and she does the same.   I am truly blessed to have Amber as a friend, as a Soul Sister, and a person to share my experiences in life with. There are no other words more powerful and better to say than thank you and I love you!

                                                                                                                 Erin Voca


*Super proud of you sis, thank you for sharing your Soul Sister story! Love ya, Geli*

Friendship... Un-cliqued

definition of:  Clique- a narrow, exclusive circle or group of persons, held together by common interests

It's perfectly normal to associate with those of a common interest, isn't it?

I would say, yes! Of course it is...

Yet, why then, is the concept of the clique so derogatory?

Back in 1985, my family and I moved. My parents sold the home that I was raised in and attended school for all of my primary years in the Camden neighborhood in North Minneapolis and bought a new home in the suburbs, Brooklyn Park, to be exact. To say that I was upset, was an understatement.

My best friend at the time and I decided we would merge all of our funds together and run away. I am not fully sure where we thought we were going to go, or truthfully how that was going to help the situation, but I do know that at the time, it sounded like a much better option than moving to the suburbs. I was 12 years old, and ready to begin Jr High school and knew 100% that I didn't want to experience that time of my life with a bunch of preppy suburban kids.

Well, I know this may be shocking, but we didn't end up running away and I did move to Brooklyn Park the summer prior to starting 7th grade. I had one friend that went to my new school so that was better than nothing and interestingly enough, I realized very quickly that it wasn't all "preppy" kids either.

Lets see... there were the jocks, the preps, the nerds, and the dirt balls. I knew where I didn't fit... but I wasn't sure where I did fit. I, unlike most teenagers didn't really care what clique people were in. I was pretty shy initially, then just talked to the kids that talked to me. I became friends with those who were nice to me and felt I had some things in common with. I did end up being a part of a clique per se, mostly based on musical taste and a style I was into. I will leave the rest a mystery!

What I have figured out as an adult about cliques, is that the negative connotation isn't the part about spending time with those of common interests. The negative part is the word exclusive. As an adult, we tell our children to be inclusive when it comes to their siblings, or neighborhood kids. We also need to remember it's okay to be inclusive with our friends, and our friends friends.

A number of years ago, a few of us girlfriends began celebrating Christmas together with our kids, and as our families grew, with our spouses and step kids. One year I wanted to invite someone new to the gathering and one of the girls was very negative about that. I believe it was out of jealousy and concern this new friend was somehow going to replace her in my life.

What I have found is that my true friends, my soul sisters don't have fear like that. They know their place in my life and I know mine in theirs. The new friendships made can enhance the others, we can create new memories while telling stories and reminiscing the old. I am blessed to say, my group of friends has continued to grow.

As I was sitting having coffee with my friend, D'Ann recently, my mind was churning with thoughts of cliques. D'Ann and I met about seven years ago while volunteering in our daughters 2nd grade classroom. Our daughters were friends and we easily became lost in conversation.  Now seven years later D'Ann and I are still good friends yet our daughters rarely talk. D'Ann's daughter Kayla is an amazing athlete! She has played for years both basketball and softball. She is extremely competitive and has a great work ethic with her sports. She dresses the part, cute and sporty. My daughter Skye is an artist, a creative soul. She is an amazingly talented writer, draws beautifully and loves music with a passion. Her sport is dance and my heart melts when I watch her dance. Her style is a bit more rock star. They are part of different cliques. Skye said to me recently how she believes that she and Kayla will reconnect as adults. She still likes Kayla, there are no hard feelings or animosity. They just run with different groups. I told D'Ann that and also that I bet if she and I were in the same grade at the same school we probably wouldn't have talked either. She was big in to softball and if a ball came at me, I would cover my eyes and duck. I would have found the guys that played in the garage band and hung out with them writing lyrics as I listened.

Yet today, while D'Ann and I sit and have coffee, a good 20 plus years out of high school, none of that matters. What we have in common now is the love for our kids and our husbands, frustrations with family drama, stories of our jobs and hopes and dreams about our futures. We sit and listen to each other, counsel each other through rough times and encourage and support each other through life's ups and downs. The fact that her passion was softball and my fear was gym class just isn't relevant in our life today. When I have gatherings at my house, D'Ann comes, has gotten to know some of my other soul sisters and is inclusive with them as they are with her.

D'Ann and I, May 2014

We all go through the teen years, and maybe dealing with the cliques is just a right of passage. I don't know... what I do know though is that it doesn't have to continue throughout our adult lives. Think of all the amazing friendships we may pass up due to some preconceived notion that we might not fit in or that due to a difference we may not get along. I say, lets find what we do have in common and go from there. Let's become un-cliqued.

Thanks for reading, be blessed.~ Geli

Keep your heart open, you're never too old to make new friends

One of my inner circle friends is Jenn. I met Jenn a few years ago (while in my late 30's)when she came in to my office for an interview. I happened to be the interviewer. Thinking back, it makes me smile... She came in and sat down in my office. I began asking the traditional questions and she began telling me her goals and dreams and plans for her life, all in her cute southern drawl. I immediately liked her energy and enthusiasm. She, like me, is a big thinker, a dreamer, and has the desire to be a world changer.

She got started with our company, and I had the privilege to be her trainer. While training her, there was a lot of one on one time that allowed us to get to know one another. One of my qualities, not quite sure if it's a good or bad one all the time, is that I am pretty much an open book. If I connect with someone, and feel I can trust them, I open up very quickly. Jenn and I both have that quality, so very quickly we knew many of each others deep dark secrets.

It was so easy to become friends with Jenn, that I forget sometimes that she is almost a decade my junior. As I am closing the gap on becoming an empty nester fairly soon, she is planning her family. We had our first grandson before they had one of their own. Jenn and her husband Jake are actually closer to our oldest kids age then mine and my husbands. Yet, the connection is so perfect, it's just not an issue. My husband, Chris is a bit tough when it comes to "couples friendships". He can be a bit reserved with opening himself up. Yet from the first time we hung out with Jenn and Jake, he liked them both! Jake and Chris have become friends and I love that!!

One of the amazing things that attracts people to Jenn is that she is a sincere giver. She gives without expectation of getting anything back. She is always willing to help. I can think of so many examples that she has honestly melted my heart with her generosity.

After being friends with Jenn for a little over a year, she called me a few nights before Christmas and asked me what I was doing, I told her I was running to Wal-Mart to pick a few things up, she said she was on her way there too and maybe we would run into each other. After shopping for a few things, we happened to be walking out together and she said, "Come here, I have something for you." I walked to her car and she pulled out a big bag and said "Merry Christmas". I knew right away what it was... a quilt. Jenn makes beautiful quilts and I was blessed with a very special one... A few months prior we were talking about Christmas traditions and I had mentioned that ever since my kids were little, we have read them the book 'T'was The Night Before Christmas' on the night before Christmas. Jenn found fabric with the entire story written out on it. She made it into an amazingly beautiful quilt that I will keep forever. The last few Christmases, we have read the quilt in lieu of the actual book as a new tradition with our Grandson.

our daughters and grandson reading the quilt

In a previous blog, I discussed party friends. Jenn is definitely one of my party friends!!  I believe anyone can show up to something major, a wedding, graduation, baby shower, bachelorette party, etc... Real friends though, come early to help, stay late to assist with the clean up, and even may be there to help plan. Shortly after meeting Jenn, we had a baby shower for our daughter, Niki. Jenn had only met her once at that time, yet, I invited her to the shower. She showed up early to help, and brought one of Niki's favorite gifts, a hand made diaper bag, in the color scheme of the nursery, that she made herself...that's putting thought into it! Since then, we have invited her to our grandsons birthdays, my sons sobriety celebration party, my 40th birthday and other gatherings....Not only have I learned that Jenn is someone that I can count on showing up, she is also someone I know will call ahead to offer to come early to help, or ask "What else do you need, is there anything you would like for me to pick up?" It is always so much appreciated. She is a true party friend!

Jenn's generosity, as I said earlier has melted my heart. About six months ago, I was going through a pretty major family crisis and had gotten into a bit of a funk. Jenn called me one day to check on me and I honestly spilled my guts. I told her I was feeling really down and hurt physically, emotionally and mentally, and all I wanted (as most women do) is a day at a spa.. a massage, facial, pedicure and manicure. I wasn't in any way seriously asking for these things, just voicing my misery and my desire.

hiking while getting spoiled at the spa

About a week later, Jenn calls me and says, I need you to give me a weekend that you can get away, for the entire weekend. Then she said, don't ask any questions, that's all I am telling you. She is kind of bossy so I did as she said. I had a sneaking suspicion that Jenn took me seriously and knowing her generosity thought maybe we were going to a hotel with a spa available. Did she ever blow me away!?!  She picked me up and couldn't contain her excitement any longer... She showed me the brochure of the place we were going. A freaking spa retreat in the middle of rural Minnesota, a place to be pampered, with yoga and fitness classes, four different spa treatments, hiking trails, with breakfast, lunch and dinner served to our liking. I have never experienced anything like that before. We had an amazing time. I was able to let go of the stress for the weekend and allow myself to be pampered. We took selfies, we giggled like little girls and were treated like princesses. I couldn't stop thanking her. I don't know if I ever will be able to thank her enough for giving me exactly what I needed at that time in my life. Someday I hope to repay her as much.

The crazy thing about Jenn is that she has said to me on numerous occasions that she doesn't feel like women like her, and that she feels judged. I just can't fathom that, unless it's out of envy or jealousy. What I see is a sweet and generous soul that wants to be treated the way she treats others. Yet, she has this tough girl persona sometimes, (I call it her hard candy shell) to protect her sincere southern sweetness. There's something about that specifically that I relate to, or connect with. I guess that is what friendship is about though, finding commonality, a true connection.

Jenn has had her share of rough times over the past few years with some pretty serious physical issues and most recently infertility issues. Ever since I met her I knew she would make an amazing mother and have prayed for their wishes to come true. After a failed attempt at IVF, hopes were down, yet she seemed to stay positive and be happy for all those around her getting pregnant and making baby shower gifts to spoil them with. I was in awe with her strength and positive outlook.

So, when I received a text after midnight one night from her a couple months ago with a pic of a positive pregnancy test, I couldn't be any happier than if it were my own!! She, more than anyone I know, deserves this blessing and I am so excited to shower her with gifts and love and parties. For those who spoil others need their time to be spoiled too!

I am so thankful that Jenn started as a work friend, became a party friend and a family friend and is now most certainly my soul sister. I adore her and am so blessed to have her in my life.

Be blessed~ Geli

It's all about who you party with!!

I have heard, and also said a few times that the friends you "party" with aren't really true friends, but mere acquaintances, or "fair weather friends".. and honestly, throughout my life I have had my share of party friends where that rings true.

Looking back, I realize that I have had many separate groups of friends, as I am sure is the case for many people. I have had neighborhood friends, work friends, school friends, theater friends, family friends, friends that I have met due to our kids being friends, and yes...party friends. Many times there was an overlap between the groups. Some of my school friends I ended up working with and even partying with.  Yet some, you just want to keep in their own special category. Not necessarily because they aren't real friends, but possibly because they may not mesh with the other groups well.  Obviously, the more overlapping one friend has, the more likely, they will become a true friend, a BFF... a soul sister.

I was thinking the other day about my current inner circle and it's interesting to me how we just connect with certain people, some over a long period of time, and some very quickly.
My inner circle is filled with a handful of interwoven relationships. These are the soul sisters that I open up to, that I call in a crisis... or if I just want to meet for coffee or a drink. These are the women that, not only would I invite to a birthday or graduation party, shower, wedding, or house warming party... they're also the ones who would be invited to "the test came back cancer-free party" or the "I don't know what to do now that I'm an empty nester" party. I believe that these ladies are my inner circle friends because they, most of them anyway, not only know of each other but have spent time with the others, due to a commonality... me. They are my friends. Some of them were friends before I came along, many of them met through me, and now are friends. That is why they are my friends...they are accepting, and welcoming, they are inclusive, not exclusive.

I have a handful of other friends, acquaintances and coworkers that I also love dearly, yet these women have a special place in my heart. They are my party friends.

In life we go though one crisis after another. I am sure you have heard the cliché that states that we are either coming out of a crisis, in the midst of one, or headed for one. Friends, our real friends are usually the ones that we celebrate with, grieve with and sometimes, just be present with and for each other.  I have attended a few close friends' "divorce papers finally signed" parties  and have also taken a friend for a "girls night out" when she found out about an untimely and very unexpected pregnancy.

Friendship isn't always convenient and there are times when all I want is to sit home and relax with my family. I am definitely not the "night on the town" girl that I once was! The thing is, sometimes it's not about how YOU feel, or how I feel... it's about making someone else feel special, and feel important. The friendships that ride the storm are the ones that are together not just during the happy times but more importantly, who stays by your side amidst your life falling apart, your own fault or not.

When my son had his two years sobriety celebration, these are the women I invited, along with family...they came to celebrate because they were there for the hard times. Our true friends are there for us in the midst of crisis, we must make sure to remember to invite them to our moments of blessing and celebration also. And always remember, convenient or not, on good hair days and bloated days, when your friends need you, when they reach out to you whether for a hug or to celebrate, memories are being made. You don't want to be remembered as the one who always bails out, or never follows through, you want to be the one that is the first on the invite list to the party! Because without you, a "my kid is finally out of diapers" party isn't a party!

Be blessed~ Geli

The "Love at First Sight" Friendship -by Kris Drew

                                                           ~ Intro by Geli ~

  Since starting the Soul Sisters Facebook page and then the blog, one of my favorite things to do is to talk to other women about their friendships. I have always been interested in the lives and relationships of others, but now more than ever, I am truly enjoying hearing these stories. One of the things that I am most excited about is getting other women to submit their Soul Sister stories. I love hearing about the chance meetings, the Divine intervention, and the beautiful relationships that are created between women and their best friends.

on a winter hike

As I have been working on Soul Sisters material, I have also been practicing what I preach; I have been prioritizing my lifelong friendships, while also working on building deeper friendships with some more recent Soul Sisters. One of my most encouraging friends in regards to my writing is my friend Kris.

Kris and I met about five years ago when our daughters were in girl scouts together. We spoke briefly in passing but remained just acquaintances for a few years. When our daughters started middle school, they became better friends and started spending more time together, which meant we saw each other more often also.  The first thing I truly loved about Kris was the way she spoke to and about my daughter. Our kids are our pride and joy, and when someone loves on them, it's hard not to like them! She made Skye feel special and loved, I could tell Skye enjoyed being around her.

Kris with our daughters at a dance competition

Our daughters started dance class together, so we would have coffee together while the girls were dancing. We really clicked, conversations were easy, without any uncomfortable silence. Kris is an amazing listener... she would ask questions and truly care about my answers. We very quickly opened up during our weekly chats and thought it would be nice to hang out more often. We chatted while walking around the lake, hung out with the girls at the beach, and then this past spring, she invited me to help out at an overnight birthday party for her daughter. The more I got to know her, the more I liked her.

Over the past year, she has become a great friend, someone that I trust, enjoy spending time with and can be myself with. I am blessed to call her my Soul Sister.

So, when she was telling me a story about how she met one of her best friends, I asked her if she would submit it as a blog entry.  So, here is our first ever, reader submitted Soul Sister story, written by my friend and soul sister, Kris Drew.

                                                  The Love at First Sight Friendship

 "Sometimes friends are by chance, sometimes friends are by circumstance and sometimes friends are by design... not ours but someone else's.  I believe God brings people in our lives for various reasons. I have one who has been in my life for 41 years, one my whole life (thank you Mom and Dad), one that was friend before becoming family and I couldn't imagine life without.  There are many stories about those three.  One was brought to me in another way.  In fact, it is going to sound corny but it was "love at first sight".

My husband and I had recently moved to our new home. We signed our middle child up for tumbling class, which we affectionately referred to as "flip and flop class".  I brought our sweet little 3 year old to class the first week.  The parents were supposed to sit quietly along the wall in the gym watching as our beloved children learned the art of the forward roll in the center of the room.  As I scanned the room, just casually looking at the other parents, my eyes focused on another mom in the room.  For some reason, I was strangely drawn to her.  The next week, I made a point to sit near her.
On a side note, my kids have said that it can be annoying how I will talk to anyone, anywhere for any reason.  I'm not sure who spoke to whom first but we started talking.  As the weeks went on, we noticed our girls were similar in behavior and we encouraged them to interact.  Both girls were incredibly shy so that was no easy feat.  Through our talks, we bonded slowly.  The first play date was arranged "for the girls".  The girls played well together but what we found between us moms, was something special.  We found in each other someone we could share time in person with at first, then phone conversations.  As the years have passed, our girls have drifted apart, still friendly, but not besties anymore.  Us moms, on the other hand, have found a friendship that is deeper and stronger than I could imagine. Ten years have passed. She is incredibly important to me and I don't want to imagine life without her. She is my confidante, seriously, we share EVERYTHING.  She is my comic relief. She is my support. She is so much more than another mom sitting across the gym. I am blessed that God brought her to me.  She is my "love at first sight" friend."



Note: If you would like to submit a soul sister story, email it to  angelik0718@gmail.com
Thank you 😃 Geli

Best Friends... They aren't just for kids!

I think so many women are put off by the "best friend" title. They think of it as a childish, immature title. Many think as an adult, " I have friends, I don't need to specify who's the best one", and I get that. I also hear, "my husband is my best friend", and I get that too, partially. My husband IS truly one of my best friends and is usually the one I am most excited to tell things to, and most often the first person I call and vent to, unless... I'm needing some support or advice that may be related to him, or something he may just not be capable of helping me through, like dealing with the effects of aging as a woman. (he just doesn't get it) but my girlfriends do... that's why they're the ones I call.

As far as the 'best friend' title, it's not necessary to have just ONE best friend and place all the others on a lower level. Quite the opposite actually... I have been blessed to have Jess in my life since childhood, she is my soul sister and my BFF. We are so close, we have become more like sisters actually and our lives and families have been enhanced with each other in them. We both welcome new girlfriends that the other brings around with open arms and acceptance. Because of the relationship we have, there is never any jealousy that we will be replaced. You can't replace a sister!!  Just because she is my lifetime BFF, it doesn't mean that we both can't have other best friends. It's not about just one, to me it's about the depth and closeness of the friendship.

We all have "friends" who aren't much more than friendly acquaintances, and some of us have good friends, but it may be missing that true heart connection, or still have some walls up. A best friend is someone you can be yourself with and they love you in spite of it. I have been speaking to women who have lost touch with the girlfriends from their youth, and the one question that I get asked over and over is..."Isn't it too late to develop a new best friend?" and my answer is always the same, NO!! It's never too late to make new friends, and over time, as those new friendships become seasoned, you may develop a best friend. We all remember the childhood song,

Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.

I believe the message behind the song is not that your newer friends aren't ever going to be as important, instead it's a reminder not to forget those who have been by our side when we meet a new friend that we click with. In school it's so common to see girls who are BFF's with one girl for a few months, then meet another that they click with and "dump" the first friend for a new BFF. That can lead to fear of being ones self around friends or such a fear of rejection that they don't reach out at all. Unfortunately, it's a lesson we must all learn the hard way.

So whether you are young or more 'seasoned', keep your eyes open, and more than that, your heart open. You never know when or where you may meet your new friend, that may, if there's a 'soul connection' become a best friend.

This is dedicated to all my best friends, you know who you are. I love you.

Until next time, be blessed:) Geli

A little girls first best friend...

There was definitely a large age gap between us, yet that never seemed to matter to either of us. My earliest memories of her were when I was about 5 years old. We spent so much time together, it seemed we were inseparable. I could always be myself around her. I always felt safe, never judged, and definitely loved.

She was more than 50 years older than me, but she didn't act it. She never acted like I was too childish to spend time with, I think she actually enjoyed being able to play with me. I remember staying with her when I was about 5-6 years old, she treated me like I was older than I really was... She gave me credit that others didn't. She let me help her with the chores and actually acted like I was needed, I felt so special. She would let me stay up late and listen to the radio show that was on, past my bedtime, called "The Squeaking Door". I would get scared sometimes, but she'd let me cuddle up to her and I knew I was safe.

As I got older, we spent less time together...still, a week here and there. She never held it against me that I didn't come around more often. She would always let me cook with her, watch her shows with her, and we'd play games for hours. She never seemed too busy to give me her undivided attention. She would make me the dinner that I chose, with a treat and a book before bed.

When I became a teenager, she never seemed to judge me, even when everyone else did. She always seemed to find the best in me, even when I couldn't. She seemed proud of my accomplishments, yet never disappointed in my failures.

As an adult with kids of my own, she always seemed sincerely happy to hear from me. I would visit her and confide in her often. We would drink tea and I would ramble on about my life and she would listen intently. Every now and then, she told me stories of her youth, but most of the time she would ask me about my life.

Looking back I have come to realize that the reason my Grandma was such an important part of my life, is that she allowed me to be me, and loved me anyway. Unlike parents, who feel that they have to teach you a lesson in everything, and always remind you right from wrong, my Grandma was more of a friend. She spent time learning who I was, allowing me to be silly, and even sometimes naughty, without passing judgment.

My Grandma taught me many things, but here's what she taught me about friendship


1-We have two ears and one mouth for a reason, people know that you care about them when you listen more than you talk.

2- Find out what someone likes to eat and make it for them and then share it with them:)

3- Spend time interacting. Play games, laugh, talk. spend quality time enjoying each others company.

4- Care about what they care about. Ask them questions about what they are passionate about, then truly listen.

5-When someone has a bad day, allow them to vent. Then spend time with them doing something that takes their mind off what was bothering them.

6- Always seem happy to hear from your friends, they can hear it in your voice, so make the effort to smile, even if you don't feel like it.

7- Life gets busy. Don't give a friend a guilt trip because they haven't prioritized you the way you feel they ought to. Remind them by your actions why they love hanging out with you, so they want to more often.

8- Be silly together without fear of being judged, don't always act your age. Have fun!

9- Always find a reason to give a complement, but make it sincere.

10 -Relax, have a cup of tea and remember, when you get to a certain age, you can cheat when you play games and no one will hold it against you:) especially not your friends...

Thanks to both of my Grandma's for teaching about friendship
~ Geli