Becoming Friends with Yourself

As I was having coffee with a fairly new soul sister, (client turned friend) she said “I have an idea for your blog.” I love that!  I have a hard enough time thinking of what to make for dinner, then I sit and stew about what readers want to hear about. Something new, something funny yet with something to learn, a moral I guess.

She then stated “How about being your own soul sister, how to be a friend to yourself.” 

Now for those of us who are extroverts and get our energy from others, we sometimes forget the importance of being a friend to ourselves. Yes, we may stay home occasionally and read, or watch a movie, or do busy work like cleaning out the junk drawer, but when was the last time you just sat quietly with your own thoughts…?

We have all heard about meditation and how good it is to do, to really get in touch with your inner self. Some say meditation is the opposite of praying, it’s sitting quietly and listening for god.

My friend talked to me about going for a walk alone, or traveling alone or even playing cards alone. (It’s called solitaire) 

I then remembered the movie,”Eat, Pray, Love” where Julia Robert’s character goes on an adventure to find herself and to regain balance in her life. When in actuality, she finds love, but it’s okay, because that wasn’t the reason for the trip I guess… and well, honestly, many women would not watch the movie if there wasn’t some kind of love interest in there, right?

So, I decided I would spend the day with myself, alone, to see if I could stand being my own friend. Here’s what I found. 

~I can do whatever I want, and don’t have to compromise… Yes!

~I can watch whatever movie I want without having to choose between the one I hate the least that my husband picked.

~I can listen to whatever radio station I like, and I can change what I like mid-song and no one will whine about it.

~I can make whatever food I like, even if it doesn’t consist of a meat, carb and veggie. I can have cereal for dinner and pizza for breakfast with a Latte.

~I don’t have to make the bed.

~I don’t care if my breath smells. I am not kissing me, ha!

~I don’t have to impress me. I realized that even though it feels good to get dressed up and go out, it’s all about my confidence around others. I am confident around myself even while wearing my crazy print pants and a flannel with no makeup and messy bun hair.

~I don’t judge me. I just judge myself based on how I perceive others will judge me. Ugh. Crazy stupid, huh?

  ~When I walk alone, I’m in competition with no one. I’m not in a hurry, I trip less and am focused more.

~I view my surroundings more and am aware of beauty more. I smell the flowers. 

The next time you have the opportunity to be alone, take some time before picking up that book or turning on that movie. Snuggle up in your favorite comfy outfit with a cup of hot cocoa, or glass of wine and watch the sunset, listen to the birds, pet your dog or cat…enjoy just being. Then you can decide if you’re the kind of friend you’d like to have. Then, feel free to numb the mind a little. Read a good book, watch a good movie and appreciate you. You completely, that’s what you are… complete.

Once we are complete, and begin to really love ourselves, we become more attractive to others.  We develop a greater confidence and are able to handle real, deep and sincere friendships. 

Until next time, be blessed. ~Geli